Simply me

I can without question make that statement.  I’ve never not done something because I might get dirty or chip a nail.  It has never been a conscientious decision, rather a fluid motion.  i.e.; Stilletos are quite fashionable and sexy, but I don’t wear them everyday; I don’t mind pink, but I would never drive a pink barbie car. 

I’m more of your average everyday All-American type of girl.  Not a tomboy or tough as nails, but I am when I need or want to be. 

Thus being said, I do have small dog that I adore.  Not to worry, I don’t carry her in a purse and dress her in pink tutu’s.  I do however think she is the cutest because of her imperfections.  She has a massive underbite, bulging eyes that sometimes seem to wander in opposite directions and gas that would make even the Grinch cringe.  Her name is Harley and is a french bulldog mix.  All in all, I simply love her.  She has the best personality and can make you laugh even when you don’t want to.  My family all adore her.

Now the “not overly girlie girl” part comes in because my little nugget (yes I do have a nick name for her) recently became a bitch little lady.  Yeah, I know gross.  I have never had a female dog.  Only boys, and I now know why! 

I’ve never even thought about her becoming a little lady and what that exactley entailed.  It simply entails me looking like this overly girlie girl, putting my dog in a fashionable denim diaper!  As if I’m somehow enjoying this act of dress up. Yes, all my neighbors and friends have been laughing at my expense because my dog is wearing a denim doggy diaper.  Not only is she wearing it, but she has gotten to like it.  In fact she is likes it so much she decided to act like a real baby and shoot a patty in it!  Urrgghh, what a fabulous friday night!

I’d like to see Paris Hilton change a doggy diaper!

My mom can now claim to be right about one more ”wives tale” I was told on many occasions as a child. Its not about getting smacked on the back really hard while making a crazy face and it sticking but, about swallowing a seed of a fruit or veggie! 

http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/08/10/4863256-not-an-old-wives-tale-pea-plant-sprouts-in-this-guys-lung?GT1=43001 

cinderellasundone:

dad-isms:

When your wife is clearly needing to talk about something that is bothering her and you immediately start solving ___________ problem (without letting her vent), what you are saying (and don’t know it) is, “quit being upset, I can clearly see you don’t know how to fix (issue), but I do.  Now…save your breath, listen closely, and I’ll tell you exactly how to solve this in no time”.

I know in your heart you want to help her (and may not want to hear the blow by blow account of her feelings), but 99% of the time this approach will leave her feeling belittled to the point that she probably won’t want to share her thoughts or herself with you…and little by little you destroy the intimacy she needs (conversationally), and sadly, you destroy the intimacy you need (touch) in the process.  That’s called lose-lose.  

I know I have told you this and it is worth saying again: One of the most important needs in your wife’s life is to be heard.  To be understood.  To be loved even when she may not have it all figured out or together in the moment.  That is what creates the love that no man can come between and will give you a lifetime of happiness.

Remember, listening is her air

I have come to the conclusion after cruising numerous pages in the directory for “Parenting” blogs, that what they really mean is “My baby is a genius” or “Sleep, why isn’t that a four letter word” or how about just putting it bluntly, “My baby is cuter than yours”. 

Where are the blogs about parenting children and not just newborns or babies?  My children are nine and seven; way past the late night feedings and weird poop colors.  Babies are precious and adorable and all that jazz, but I want to read about the misadventures of parenthood!  Not just about how Junior is now eating solids. 

I also believe that there are other parents out there with my sarcastic humor, that would agree that its refreshing to hear about another parents misadventures.  If anything to make you feel better about yourself and your parenting skills!

So, with that in mind I’m prepared to start dishing out about my daily tantrums dilemmas.  I’ve been told before that I tell funny stories so we shall see how my gift of gab conveys to blogging. 

I have often kept a journal of funny things my kids have said or done, and as soon as I can track it down, I will be sharing some of my “Parenting” stories with you.